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Jul 20 2015 18:13
Controlling men the first signal to understand yourself.
Every wise woman, weather less or more experienced, should understand that controlling and "spying" on a man is not a option to keep him. It can only destroy the relationship. Trying to track down all his movements, is the wrong move. For what reason do you have a desire to do this?
According to psychologists, this affects two components of female logic - care and jealousy. Because a woman bothers a man all day long does not mean that she loves him more, but probably means that she is too jealous. Such an attitude is not a sign that they care about the partner. A normal man does not want a servant, but an equal partner.
A woman who takes total control, does not understand that a proper relationship requires trust.
TURNING care in CONTROL
Most of the women who look after their loved ones may try to justify their actions, citing experience excessive care. But in fact, this is not a situation that a man needs. Pestering him with annoying constant calls and intrusive questions, you are trying to show that you care, but it is not so.
The main error of this behavior is that it does not imply an understanding of a manís desires. You just want to control him, to find out whether he has fulfilled all of your requests, thereby imposing your opinion and your will.
Soon, as a rule, the partners get tired of such a relationship, believe that such an obsessive woman they do not need to go and look for a more low-key replacement, that will not choke and infringe upon their rights. Of course, as an exception, there are so-called "baby son" who are waiting for such an attitude. They want women to solve their problems, do everything for them. A woman indulges his behavior for such a man, to which he quickly gets used to it. In the end, the man becomes "henpecked", he does not make any decisions and loses his independence. And then the opposite is true - the woman begins to rebuke him. He becomes gutless, spineless man. So donít let it happen, try to give your beloved a little freedom. Believe me, from this, he will not run away, but only appreciate your motives.
Getting rid of obsessive desires to WATCH
Do not constantly monitor him with surveillance calls. We must unlearn these habits. In no event should you call the man compulsively every spare minute, or worse, arrange wiretapping. Believe me, you can have time to stop talking at home in the evening to ask how he is doing and how his day was, rather than constantly distract him. Do not bother him just because you are bored and waste your time and money. Discard the wrong habit to call him, even if it is late. It is a mistake to call him during business meetings. Allow him to rest sometimes with friends, and rather try to find ways to relax him. Try to use phone calls when you really need it, not when you just want to check on him.
As a rule, do not be a "female spy" or love "to wander" , donít look for any dirt on him or read his smsís or view his calls. This should be done only with real suspicion of treason. In other cases, allow him to tell you all about it. Believe me, if you really give him the opportunity to do so, he would take advantage of it. And most importantly, always consult with your man, give him the right to choose, let him make decisions, because, in the end, he is still the head of the family.
Remember that controlling boyfriend or girlfriend itís signs that something wrong in your relationship. Before you accuse your partner or to arrange surveillance you should ask yourself questions. What is the reason you desire this control, and what has changed in the relationship, or you personally, what makes you want to control your partner. The best way to solve this problem is to understand yourself, and after that talk with your partner. Very often your suspicions are invented and have no foundation.